Lost

 

 

Alone on the streets in the blackened night

There is no one in sight

The wind is cold and cuts like a knife

As it swirls around her neck and down

The base of her spine chilling her

To the depths of her bones

Eyes darting about, searching…

For what…for a dream…

For warmth… for comfort…

For there is none to be found

She walks along the empty streets

Waiting for a sound or a sign of life

But there is nothing there but emptiness

And she is alone.

She squats and huddles

In the frame of a doorway

To keep the wind off of her

To stop it from swirling

The thoughts in her head.

She remembers all too well

What she has lost

And it saddens her

And brings tears to her eyes

Her life that once was…

Is no more and she feels

Utterly and completely alone.

She feels a hunger she can’t fill

And knows she needs shelter from the storm

She searches for a safe place

But really is there any safety in her world?

She imagines a box

That she will crawl inside

To warm her soul and her spirit

As she sinks further into herself.

She wishes for death to come

Knocking at her door

She wants to be anywhere but here…

She closes her eyes but for a moment

As an outstretched hand reaches for her

She opens her eyes to look up into the face

And as she reaches out to grasp hold,

She smiles as she takes Hope’s hand

And it leads her home…

 

 

 

 PolarB ;) 3/3/06

 

The Anger Dance

 

 

I hear your small voice calling

Deep inside of me

Faint at first

Like a whisper

Then stronger, and louder

As you find your voice

Testing your powerful lungs.

I can almost see you standing there

Your small fists clenched

Feet hard against the ground

Your red puffy face angry

With clenched teeth

Because nobody will listen

Or answer your fervent pleas

So much anger

So much to be angry about

So many years that have passed by

With all that pent up anger inside of you.

Finally feeling safe to let it out

So let it out little girl!

Rant! Rave! Cry! Shake your fists!

Shout it! Scream it! Let it out!

Let it all come tumbling out little one…

You don’t have to be afraid anymore

There is nobody here to scold you,

Or punish you, or hurt you

For feeling what you do

Or for just being you…

So go ahead my child

And let it all out

And when you have exhausted

Yourself of all that built up anger

I will still be here waiting

To hold you and love you

And you will know it is okay

And it is safe to let your feelings show

And I will protect you and keep you safe

So go ahead little one

And do your Anger Dance

Stomping on the ghosts of the past

Your anger served you well

And it kept you strong inside

 When you felt like you were falling apart

And there might be nothing left at all.

Embrace your anger little one

Just as I will embrace you

And love you through it all

Together we are strong

Together we will stand united

No one will ever hurt us again!

 

 

 

PolarB ;)

Death

 

Tis the end of the nightmare

Time to close the door

Never to look over my shoulder

Never  to fear him no more

I thought that I would be happy

but it didn't turn out that way

The call came, I dropped and cried...

"Thought you'd want to know"

I heard her say....

To step back into a past

I thought  I'd left behind

Twas painfully unnerving

my life had been aligned.

But as before, when I was but a child

I stand before you now

I survived and I am living

I 'm proud to take a bow.

He didn't break my spirit

I'm alive and living free

He's left this life

and I'm still here

Being all that I can be...

Areviderci, Goodbye, Farewell,

I raise my hand and sigh

A tear blurs my vision

as I say my final goodbye.

 

 

PolarB ;)

A Strand of Pearls

 

My childhood...

A strand of precious pearls.

Only to be broken

falling, scattering all

about the floor rolling

to hidden dark secret places.

A woman, now grown,

searching and hoping

trying to find each

delicate piece of her life

to put it back together

and restore it to the

natural beauty it was

always meant to be.

To the slendor of the

whole and complete

beautiful strand of pearls...

 

 

PolarB ;)

 

Native Child

I can't fight these feelings anymore
My body crashes to the shore
as I felt the undercurrents
pulling at my soul wanting to take me under
to the darkness and to the bowels of Hell....
I remember I am no longer there....
I am no longer a child
who was frightened and hurt terribly.
If I were to take a glance in the mirror
I would see a grown woman
who is strong and self assured
but that is only the mask...

For when you unveil the woman
behind the mask
you see a little girl looking back at you
with eyes of wonder.
Eyes that if you peer into her soul
she is ancient and appears cracked
and ready to crumble...
But underneath her layers
is the inside part of her-

Her core is solid
Her core is strong
Her core contains her beating heart
that connects her to this earth
so that the currents can't ever
pull her under the tide.
She is a little warrior
She is a native child.

 

PolarB ;)